Many people who have never had problems with controlling their own sexuality may wonder what is really about this movement against pornography? Are we all guided by religious motives?

While working with my clients I often remind them that my focus is towards healthy sexuality, not sobriety. This approach is focused on finding ways of sexual expression that are enjoyable, safe and intimate rather than stopping yourself from particular behaviour. It’s more about WHY you do something and less about WHAT you do. It’s secular, non-judgmental and focused entirely on personal well-being of my clients.

What is Sex-Positive movement?

“Positive Sexuality is an idea that promotes openness to sexuality, but with a few limitations. Being ‘sex positive’ is an attitude to human sexuality that treats all consensual sexual activity as fundamentally healthy and pleasant.” – Agata Loewe PhD., Sex Positive Institute

Principles of Positive Sexuality:

1. […] The core of our mission is to create places where people feel safe to discuss sensitive topics. […]

2. […] We assume that all conscious, responsible and consensual sex is ok for those who exercise their sexuality in the way they choose. […]

3. Positive Sexuality respects boundaries. […] We consider behavior that compromises the sense of security of others who break the law (primarily sexual) of a person and take place without the consent of all concerned as unacceptable. […] – Agata Loewe PhD., Sex Positive Institute

How Does Pornography Violate Sex-Positive Principles?

First, I will refer to the definition of the philosophy of positive sexuality itself. It treats “all consensual sexual activity as fundamentally healthy and pleasant“. Here we need to ask ourselves how much of the pornographic material we watch is really consensual. While some may argue, that porn performers sign a contract and hence they consent to the recorded sexual activity, many of the sexual acts are partially or entirely forced.

Some of those who join porn industry do that as a result of human trafficking. Some pornstars are raped and abused on a set. Health standards are also held in high disregard, which results in STD’s and injuries for many performers in the industry. Since there are virtually no regulations in the industry, we never know if the materials we watch are done legally and without harm to performers. That is clearly not coherent with the pillars of positive sexuality.

Compulsive Sexual Behaviour and Sex-Positive Movement.

Compulsive behavior is defined as performing an act persistently and repetitively without it necessarily leading to an actual reward or pleasure. – Wikipedia

In compulsive sexuality, sexual behaviour is often used to cope with shame, fear, anger, sadness. We feel pushed to repeat the behaviour, not because we want to or because we enjoy it, but because we simply don’t know a better way to cope with our feelings. Therefore we can argue if compulsive sexual behaviour can be considered as truly consensual.

Moreover, we can argue if compulsive sexuality is a conscious choice. If we treat compulsive sex & masturbation as habitual behaviour, large parts of it can be automatic:

Automatic processes are largely nonconscious, that is, triggered by environmental stimuli without the agent’s conscious awareness or deliberation. Automaticity researchers contend that even higher level habitual social behaviors can be nonconsciously primed. – Nancy E. Snow, Habitual Virtuous Actions and Automaticity

Last but not least, compulsive sexual behavior isn’t always responsible. We may feel tempted to watch porn on our phone while driving, or to seek materials from “barely legal” category, which often contain underage performers. By not being open about our behavior we can “compromise the sense of security of others” and cause major distress for our family members.

This approach is not against our freedom of expression – it is rather focused on lowering the level of suffering and building higher sexual culture both in individuals and in society.

Coach Adrian