99% of adult men use some type of erotic material, be it pornographic videos or photos.
If you’re in the 1% who doesn’t, this isn’t the site for you. Look in the mirror and congratulate yourself on your uniqueness.
However, if you belong to the vast majority of those who encountered pornography, then listen carefully.
Using porn doesn’t make you a zombie, a pervert, a sinner, or an addict.
But it could be that you are trying to cover up your unresolved emotional issues with porn.
It can also sometimes be the case that your horniness makes you make bad decisions, sometimes catastrophic in results.
Maybe you watch things that make you feel bad.
Or they make you feel good, but you are afraid to talk openly about it with your partner and keep your fantasies a secret.
Maybe you got caught red-handed and your partner doesn’t want to sleep with you anymore.
Maybe you watch porn so often that you no longer have the drive or desire for sex in your relationship.
Maybe you started acting like an asshole, and telling your partner what to do in bed or comparing her to porn stars.
Or you get so tense before having sex with her that the only chance for a full erection is when you turn on your computer and “take matters into your own hands”.
I was where you were too. He that is without problems related to sex among you, let him be the first to cast a stone. What you feel is normal.
You may have come across a forum, an article from a specialist, or a friend’s quote suggesting you should stop masturbating and watching porn altogether. Perhaps you consider yourself an addict. Or someone told you that after 90 days of abstinence your brain will reset, your voice will lower and you will have unquestionable confidence in your relationships with women.
And if you want pornography to no longer to be a part of your life – that’s perfectly fine. But make it a conscious choice, based on self-understanding and science, not superstition.
If you want to use some kind of adult material, learn to make consumer decisions so that they are consistent with your goals. It’s just like food or movies on Netflix. If you know what you like, what matters to you, and how it affects you, then you have the power to decide what to do with your time or what you put in your belly. I think it is much more fun to make informed consumer decisions in harmony with yourself, your values, or your goals.
It just so happens that you are reading the words of someone who does this job all the time, not only in their personal but also in professional life. I have gone from feeling like I’m losing control of my sexuality to feeling the power and emotional maturity required to make decisions in a world that is continuously flooded with new kinds of content. I don’t demonize porn nor glorify it – I know its highlights and shadows. That is why I am offering you my help.
Working on yourself is not easy and takes a lot of time. It is not a magic pill that starts working after 90 days. It is often a painful process of learning yourself, learning how to live in this world as an adult, powerful man, and not a hurt child, a victim of the system, a hostage of your own past or your own impulses.
If you are ready to take up this challenge, I invite you to reach out to me.
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