We all have difficult moments, something triggers us and we don’t know, whether we can handle the assault of emotions and compulsive desires that we are flooded with. Maybe you are approaching Christmas time with your family, you feel fatigued from overworking or relationship conflicts weigh heavily on you. All of these things can make us discouraged and out of balance. A part of the whole healing process is to build a Support Network, a group of contacts in which we can refer to in a crisis situation.
The opposite of addiction Is connection. To build and maintain these close contacts, we need a few things.
1) The courage to say what is really going on within yourself, what is happening.
2) Skills to understand what is truly going on within yourself.
3) Groups of people you can connect to and actually be open with.
4) Spending time together.
The first bit is pretty obvious. If you can’t be honest, you will build a wall of secrets between you and people close to you. Maintaining isolation is one of the biggest allies to your addiction. Even if the expense is some losses, opening up in your relationships to trusted people is always associated with massive changes in the direction of recovery & health. The ability to name what you are experiencing relates to how mindful and attentive you are in a difficult situation. Can you name what exactly you are feeling and going through? Speaking about your emotions is part of the creation of ties. If you can not determine “what’s wrong” not only do you cut out the capability of a deeper insight in your own situation during talks to your safety net, but you also allow yourself to accept and duplicate the same unconscious unhealthy patterns that will eventually lead to the destruction of your relationships. The third element relates to a very simple fact, there must be people that we can talk to openly in our lives. Sometimes it is that we have friends, who wish us all the best, but we do not take a risk of telling them about our problems and potentially establishing deeper relationships. Take a chance, you’d be surprised how many good people are around you. Sometimes, however, it is so that addiction has left an imprint on our lives already and we live in such isolation, that basically we do not have anybody to turn to. In this case, here a few steps:
1) Connect with Local Support Groups. Search for places where you can talk about your problems.
2) Start therapy or recovery coaching. A coach or therapist will be someone you can talk with about your problems, without fear that you will be judged or rejected. This is an unique opportunity to learn healthy close ties to other human beings and transfer this pattern to your private life.
3) Think about your passions. If you don’t have any yet, take time to discover things that could interest you. Search for places and clubs where people with similar interests meet. This is where you will meet your potential friends and people who will help you get out of your sense of isolation.
The last issue is spending time together. You need to devote time to being with people whom you want to be close to, to actively maintain contact and propose meetings. Do not wait until someone picks up on a problem you might be having and asks, “Do you wanna meet or need to talk?” It’s in your best interest to be proactive and ask about it when you need to meet.
Remember that one phone call in a triggering situation to a friend/companion, can keep you away from mishaps and change how your everyday life looks like. The more healthy ties you establish, the easier it will be for you to recover. The opposite of addiction is connection!