A vital part of successful recovery is SMART goal setting. By that I mean Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, Time bound goals, that we all can be accountable for when the deadline comes. I don’t know about you, but I make goal-setting part of my daily life – I set goals every day, every week, every month. Sometimes I achieve them and like anyone, sometimes I…
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Sexual Abstinence – what is it all about?
For some of you, the perspective of total sexual abstinence may seem frightening. However, the devil is not so black as he is painted. Today’s piece is about celibacy, and how to not make lack of sex put us even deeper in the shallows of unhealthy sexuality. First, do realize that you’re not gonna die because of that. Exactly. Sexuality is a natural need of every human being, it does not mean, however,…
Healthy Masturbation – Possible or Not?
I know that many people will raise objections to this article. However, masturbation is a natural behavior practiced by 95% of adults, as well as by fetuses in the womb and most animal species. Clearly there is an element of human sexuality (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Masturbation ). My answer to the question is yes. But with a few conditions. Let’s start with the next stages of recovery from addiction….
Addiction is like a hydra
Question from a client: Any thoughts on the “binge-purge” cycle of porn use? I’ve tossed out all of my stuff over and over only to excitedly replace it in some new way a little later. I wonder what it would be like to leave my “stash” (porn / props) in a safe place in my home and work with learning new habits with the knowledge…
Awaken Your Inner Master
Hi guys! A few weeks ago I received a message from one of my clients. He shared with me a list of things that are helpful to him. I believed those are all his insights, and I congratulated him. I was surprised by how much he learned in such a short time. “List of Helpful Things To Facilitate Me In Creating A New Life”: Do…
What works for me – 4th year of sobriety
Hi guys, Since I’m nearing my 4th Anniversary of sobriety from porn, I would like to share my insights about things that worked for me during that time! This is what works for me in a nutshell: Never Beat Yourself Up Learn from your mistakes. What I was constantly doing, when I had a slip, was thinking along these lines: “You screwed up again! You’ll…
How To Get Started on the Right Foot Everyday!
Hi guys! So, something I have been doing lately is cycling. I wake up every morning at 6am while it’s still dark and ride around a beautiful lake, (it’s about 15 miles), near my family’s house in Florida. Some days are really easy for me to get started. I go to bed early, I wake up refreshed, put on my cyclist helmet and just go!…
5 Things Wrong With Porn
What is wrong with pornography? Penetration of pornography into mass culture and the sexualization of society is a phenomena which we can no longer turn a blind eye to. Just like computerization has become a part of our daily operations, so has pornography. Argument One: More broadly, we are a consumer society. We consume various products. From eating in restaurants, sitting in front of the…
Stop Chasing The Ideal Of Beauty!
Today’s article is about the standards of beauty that we all cultivate. The way you perceive beauty affects your relationship in a profound way – it can take it to the next level and create intimacy, or destroy it. It is true that every culture and age has its ideal of beauty, for which we are invariably chasing, in recent times, however, through the spread of…
The Secret Of Everlasting Motivation
First I need to estabilish something. In order to beat this addiction, you need motivation. Motivation is not something that gracefully falls from the sky to you. It is something that we can and have to actively create in our lives, through our thinking and through our actions. In The Mindful Habit Program we talk a lot about motivation. You need motivation everyday, just like…